ADVERTISEMENT

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. It’s true. You can look it up. It’s probably also true that parody is the cleverest form of ridicule. And when it comes to ridicule, the Europeans are second to none. Well, maybe second to the United States.

ADVERTISEMENT

Vanity Fair has an article about Europe’s response to Donald J. Trump’s claim of “America First.” OK, they’re admitting “we’re number one, we’re number one,” but individual European countries are clamoring to be “number two.”

By now, we all know that under Donald Trump’s administration, the United States’s guiding principle is going to be “America first”—as the president stressed in his dystopian inauguration speech. The world got the message loud and clear—and now, European countries are beginning to counter with rallying cries of their own.

The trend began with a viral parody video from the Netherlands, courtesy of the news satire show Zondag met Lubach. The clip, a faux introduction to the Netherlands that mocks Trump by imitating the president’s signature verbiage—”We’ve got the best words. All the other languages failed”—has racked up more than 16 million views on YouTube since last week.

The video is available on YouTube, and here for your enjoyment:

It’s even in English, which is the official “America First” language (since America doesn’t have a language of its own). It is cast as an “introduction video,” suggesting that Trump doesn’t know anything about the Netherlands.

It begins by introducing their founder, William of Orange, without overtly pointing out Trump’s skin color. Then points out that the early Dutch fought against the Spanish (“total scumbags. . .total losers. . .they’re all dead now”). Then goes on to claim that Dutch is the best language—Danish is “a total disaster”—and German isn’t even a real language, “it’s a fake language.”

Then, they claim that the Afsluitdijk is “a great, great wall, that we built to protect us from all the water from Mexico. In fact, we built an entire ocean, ok? An entire ocean between us and Mexico. Nobody builds oceans better than we do. . .and we made the Mexicans pay for it. It’s true.” They also claim to have “the best tax evasion system God ever created. It’s unbelievable.”

Now, several other countries have hopped on the bandwagon, all sarcastically clamoring to come in “second” to America’s interests by making their cases in terms Trump can understand.

Deville Late Night, a Swiss late-night talk show, made the case for Switzerland by noting, “We have the best women. They’re all 10s. . . And we also love to treat our women badly. Love it. We didn’t let them vote until 1971. In some places, even until 1990. We grab them by the civil rights. And they let us do it.”

Switzerland is also on YouTube, “welcome to this introduction video to Switzerland.” It claims that Switzerland is the sexiest country in Europe—with huge mountains—they’re not “flat,” like the Netherlands. And all their women are “tens,” including their weather girl, Sandra “Boner.” They describe their flag as “a huge plus” (it’s a white cross on a red field), saying “your friends [the KKK] got their flag from us.” And Switzerland is very safe, “we have no Mexicans here.”

Of course, Switzerland invented Gangsta-Rap. “This is DJ Bobo. He is our best rapper. Much better than Kanye. AND, he’s white.” In a wicked twist, the video says they love gold, just like The Donald. They’ve got tons of it. “The Jews gave it to us for safe-keeping. They never returned, so strange, so we melted it, like fondue.” Switzerland doesn’t even want our money, “because we already have it,” referring to the fact that rich Americans have hid their funds there.

Then, there’s Germany on YouTube.

The host of their satirical show says that the Netherlands actually stole the whole idea from Germany. They have Oktoberfest, “the best beer fest God ever created. There is pee everywhere, you would love it. . .Great pee. Or as we call it in Germany, ‘Bud Light.’” And, of course, they show Adolf Hitler, saying “he made Germany great again. . .Steve Bannon absolutely loves him.”

Of course, Germany “hosted two world wars in the last one hundred years. . .and we won both of them. Bigly. And anyone who says anything else is fake news. Period. . .And we built a great German wall. We just built it. AND, we made the Russians pay for it! It’s true. . .and, by the way, when you push the red button, to destroy Germany, with nuclear weapons, this is how Germany looks like on the map,” showing a map with Italy outlined.

But then, Denmark also claims to be Number Two, on YouTube.

“Forget the Netherlands. They are a disaster, okay? And, Holland, too. Total disaster. . .the Hollandrians tried to tell you that their language is the bestest language. Wrong!” The irony, of course, is that German and Dutch are so close. Remember, after all, that Germany, in German, is “Deutschland.”

Portugal should be even closer to Donald’s heart.

Portuguese late-night talk show 5 Para A Meia-Noite noted, “Our founding father and first king fought his own mother—a total bitch—and kicked the Arabs off what was to become our land. Yeah. He totally kicked them off. The Arabs. We know what you’re thinking: our first king would be a great secretary of defense. He’s dead now. Sad!”

“We were born at 1143, meaning that we’re one of the oldest nations in the world. It’s amazing how old we are. WE should be dating your wife. It’s true. We should.” And, “
we do have your worst nightmare: a black woman as secretary of justice.” And, “seriously, screw the Dutch, they’re more orange than you!”

Belgium was not to be left out. They also want to be second. . .”or whatever, or tenth, we don’t care.”

Belgian satirical news magazine De Ideale Wereld got in on the action by remembering the time Trump called its capital city, Brussels, “a hell hole.”

“This is true; Brussels is a huge hell hole,” the video conceded. “But the rest of Belgium is great. It’s truly great. Believe me. Except for the French-speaking part, of course, because we hate them. They’re like the Mexicans of Belgium.”

“ABBA is the most famous Belgian band in history,” the video continued. “Well, they’re Swedish, but according to alternative facts, they’re Belgian. I swear. Waterloo is in Belgium anyway.”

And. . .Lithuania? They’ll be satisfied with third.

Even Lithuania offered an entry into the canon: Internet channel LaisvesTV posted a Laikykites Ten video talking up everything the small nation has to offer, though it admits Lithuania probably doesn’t deserve second place in Trump’s eyes. Still, that doesn’t mean Lithuania doesn’t have anything to pique Trump’s interest:

“We’ve destroyed that nasty Soviet Union. We destroyed it by building a wall—a wall of people. . . It was a real human wall called the Baltic Way. It was the best wall. Enormous. Even Pink Floyd called and said that our wall was the best. It’s true. That doesn’t mean we don’t have walls now. We have Ten Walls. He is the best electronic DJ in the world. Believe us. He is also the best homophobe. You’d love him. Can you imagine? 10 walls? Not one. Not two. But 10.”

The fun thing about these videos is that there’s almost no duplication, since they really are introducing Trump to their, particular, country. Other countries have done a video, but they’re not as good as the one above. Some didn’t understand the creative concept. The one listed for Mexico is not like the others at all, and just tells Trump he’s not welcome to visit.

16 COMMENTS

  1. With such an obviously bigoted troglodyte for a president, we will be seeing satire for a long time. And he deserves every ounce of ridicule he has coming.

    America is a great nation, but it is not the greatest at everything. That would be ridiculous to suggest. The abominable lack of free, basic healthcare for one. The outmoded lack of reasonable regulations on ownership of weapons. The existence of execution. Resolve these huge issues and maybe then we can claim enhanced greatness.

      • Humor and darkness are often one and the same. Victor Borge said it well “There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

        • I remember Victor Borge, but I thought his mostly pandering humor was tolerated because he was seen, primarily, as a pianist.

          Now, then, give me Oscar Levant. He said things like, “A politician is a man who will double-cross that bridge when he comes to it,” and “It’d be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view”
          A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.
          Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/o/oscar_levant.html
          A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.
          Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/o/oscar_levant.html
          A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.
          Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/o/oscar_levant.html

          • Since I cannot decipher the exact meaning of your post, I will say: Oscar Levant was an American pianist, composer, author, comedian, actor. He was as famous for his mordant character and witticisms, as for his music. He wrote several books and if you have not read “A Smattering of Ignorance” you have missed a treat.

            • My apologies. I used the name Oscar Levant in error. The description I wrote belonged to Victor Borge. I liked Oscar Levant but he had an unhealthy humor.

            • I wouldn’t say “unhealthy,” just mischievous.

              Comparing Victor Borge to Oscar Levant is like comparing Red Skelton to George Carlin. If you like “happy talk,” Victor and Red were your men.

            • Goethe, I guess I spoke of Levant and Borge because I could not make “heads or tails” of the lead on post. Can you explain to me it’s core meaning?

      • I am being humorous. The joke is Trump. Get it? LOL.

        Once he is out of office, I will laugh with you heartily and joyously, but until then, the humor will be dark and focused to achieve the desired goal: removal of a bigoted, unconstitutional, misogynist, racist despot from power. How he gained that power in the first place is the REAL joke here. And comedy doesn’t come any blacker than that, especially given what we have lost as a result.

        • The comedy since Trump became PRESIDENT and not the darling of the Democrats and jailers is YOU. Each and every one of your posts seem to be saying the same thing. You are like a 45 RPM with a divot in it and the needle gets stuck in that divot, you just keep repeating the same thing over and over.??

          You really have to get used to the fact that Donald J Trump is your President. You can whine and moan about it all you want, but you will NEVER CHANGE IT!!!?

          • A very good comment and analogy. Love the 45 comparison.

            It is the same old thing with Mano. Adjective after adjective. Those haters of Obama adjusted to him. Too bad Mano won’t adjust.

            They say those that keep hating are the losers as the winners have moved on and control the haters.

          • Without a doubt, you are in dire need of Constitutional schooling, with a heavy emphasis on the amendments. When Trump took the oath of office, he repeated this oath–
            “I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.” Before the ink was dry, he had forgotten the oath, and was back to his lying ways.
            Donald Trump is not my president. It is prudent to remember that everything is subject to change.
            To equate someone to an rpm, can only come from an uneducated mind.
            To quote Bugs Bunny “what a maroon”.

            • Another carping, whining liberal twit. Now, now don’t hold your breath because you didn’t get your way.?

              The president you imbecile has the authority to issue Executive Orders when he thinks it is in the interest and for the safety of the American people. The worst president in history, your hero O’Bugger did the same thing. He restricted Iraqis from entering the US for 6 months. Where was your indignation then? ?

              You are nothing but a whining HYPOCRITE!!!?

            • Calling others people names is cheap, it’s cowardly, and most of the time completely unnecessary. No one said Trump does not have the power to give executive orders. However, citizens have the right to disagree. (First amendment)

              Under Obama, Iraqi and Iranian refugees were still admitted to the United States every month in 2011, though there was a significant drop after May of that year. Obama’s suspension was in direct response to a failed plot by Iraqi nationals living in Bowling Green, Ky., to send money, explosives and weapons to al-Qaida. The two men were arrested by the FBI in May 2011 for actions committed in Iraq and trying to assist overseas terrorist groups. Whereas, Trump’s halt in entries applied to all non-U.S. visitors. Very different situations.

              Closing our borders and hiding under our beds is not going to make us stronger or safer.

              If Trump really wanted to stop immigration he would have had the FBI start a massive roundup of employers hiring undocumented aliens. Far more efficient and it would round up all illegals in this country, including those has have slipped in unnoticed. Not just the Mexicans, but South Americans, the Chinese, the south seas people, the Canadians, and anyone without a legal passport.

Comments are closed.